I know it's a bit late to wish Happy Hari Raya but we Malaysians are still in the Raya mood, so I hope you have a blast of happiness. Oh, if you're wondering why I was quiet during Ramadhan, that's coz I had to attend tarawih, tadarus, i'tikaf, visit orphanages, old folks home etc so I really didn't have the time to write. Sorry guys.
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As for me, this Raya is getting better compared to last year when my late brother was no longer with us. He was still around when we celebrated Eid Fitr in 2010 and he died a month later. So, it would be natural for us to celebrate Raya by visiting his grave in Penang. My parents would go to his grave before the Subuh prayer, after the Subuh prayer, after the Asar prayer, after the Eid prayer, and would passed by his grave for like dozen of times everyday every time we go back to Penang. In fact my mom would complain about why the authority doesn't put up street lights at the grave yard so that people can visit the graves at night. She said Prophet Muhammad saw visited the Baqi graveyard at night because that's when the souls of the departed are returned to their graves. And I do believe that she would go to my little brother's grave at night if my dad allows her.
2011 was the saddest. Even though my parents didn't show it emotionally, I saw in their faces how painful it was for them to go shopping for Raya clothes for us that year, and it became to much to bear for my mum when we had our family vacation in Korea which fell exactly on the first anniversary of our brother's passing. In fact, she wore her all black mourning attire i.e. her black scarf, black Jubah, black handbag and black shoes,black gloves even though it was only autumn in Korea. Only her cardi was greyish black. However, she denied that she was in mourning. She said it is wrong to mourn for more than three days, except when a woman lost her husband. Since my brother is gone, my mother only wears black, all black and nothing else. And on the third week of Ramadhan this year, she added a new piece to her outfit: a black niqab. Yes, my mom is a niqabi now y'all. I do think that she's the first former newscaster in Malaysia or even the world to wear a niqab. Well mom, maybe they should put your name in the Guinness Book of World Record :). Oh I almost forgot, she had herself a black purse also recently and ditched her orange one somewhere. She's practically the lady in black. ah yes, her notebook is black, etc etc etc....I just don't know what's happening to my mom. I do feel that she's never really happy anymore, and it's reflected in her choice of colour even though verbally she denies it.
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Celebrating Raya in Penang was a quiet affair. However, it's a different story when we got to Muar. My father likes to hang out with his cousins (my father's late Pak Long had 17 children, so you can imagine the scenario when all of them got together).It was all fun, big lunches and dinners,staying up late and happy plans to go holidays together. They'll fly to Japan end of this year (best nyer, sure tak dapat ikut coz duit kat sana mahal), and Umrah with my dad next year. If you remember, I went to Jakarta with them earlier.
It's a must to ask for forgiveness after we have performed the Eid Prayer. The younger ones will kneel down before the elderly, ask for forgiveness and then kiss their right hands. The elderly then will kiss their cheeks or forehead and give money in envelopes (duit raya). Sometimes this would turn out funny, other times sad, and most of the time, awkward.
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This is the family of Mak Nojah and Uncle Noren (master of the house). Some families would have a theme colour like this. My family has never practiced this however.
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This year is the most fun coz all my friends, my big sis and lil sis's friends also came to our house. My mom was so tired out of cooking spagetti, frying chicken and whatnot, that she took out the little oven on to the deck and taught us how to cook pizzas on our own. Then my lil sister begged my dad to send them to IOI Mall so that they can finish off their hard earned duit raya. My dad was very sporting that day, even though he had an invitation to attend to, so he ferried all 10 or 11 of them in his vehicle, while my mom had to send my friends back to their homes (my parents are very worried about their safety, even though they are not their children). My big sis's friends however opted to take the bus (of course it's not cool to be sent home, no freedom ma!). My parents only went to the invitations after Isya', and my lil sis was sent home from Shareen's place at 9pm.
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So today was my parents turn to go visit their friends (which I had to be dragged into the vehicle to join them coz you know how boringgggggggg it is to visit you parents' friends).(Mind you, we had already visited all the relatives, and neighbours and now, their friends who live farther, in fact, according to my dad's original plan, we would travel up to Perak to complete the list, but my mom disagreed coz we have school tomorrow.THANK YOU MOM).
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Anyway, we went to Uncle Ayip's place in Damansara first, and lo and behold, he's got a Hummer in his driveway. Impressed, impressed. (would be more impressed if i got to test drive it). After what seem like a million years, (actually only about two hours :)) we moved on to Uncle Rahman aka Gurkha's place. Well, he was driving a van which had seen better days i supposed, and during the conversation, my mom asked Aunt Bedah about their expensive car, and was told that they couldn't afford it anymore. I guess my mom could ask such sensitive question since she is their matchmaker. My big sis was already snoring like a bear, me...staring at the ceiling..and my lil sis had nothing to do, so she decided to join Uncle Gurkha's 4 and 2 year old sons playing war with a toy gun.Uncle Gurkha's old mom, was sitting silently in her chair, looking very worn out, not moving or uttering a word, except only when my mom asked her. Uncle Gurkha said she has been behaving like that since her husband passed away last year.
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We reached home at almost midnight, and I don't know why but I can't stop thinking about the fate of these two uncles.That's why I don't like to spend time with adults, because even though they look happy, or they put up a happy face, you can sense and feel the seriousness / heavyness (or maybe sadness??) in the atmosphere. I noticed it on Uncle Ayip's face even though he has a very successful life, and it's more apparent in Uncle Gurkha's and his mom. But when I'm surrounded by my friends, I feel the air is light and there's real joy, and there's nothing heavy to think about after my friends have left, if you know what I mean. I know my writing is not good, so I don't know if you can understand what I'm trying to tell you.
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I've been writing too long, so I better stop. Before I go, please forgive me if I've offended any of you in any way whatsoever and I also forgive everyone out there. Have a blast with the Merdeka day and be HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY ALWAYS GUYS.
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Love and peace
Daniel Zaydi
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